Regrets

[sinanju]

I've been at my current job since 1994. I was hired by a woman who left the organization for a new position about four years ago. So we worked together for a long time. I liked her. I thought she was very attractive too. She enjoyed my dry and somewhat twisted sense of humor and I liked hers as well, though it wasn't quite as twisted as mine. We worked together very well. When I was getting married, she organized my bachelor party, such as it was.

When she left the organization, I was disappointed--I was going to miss her--but not surprised. I'd seen her struggling with her growing frustration with how things got done around here. We agreed to keep in touch.

I saw her maybe twice since she left the office and had lunch with her once. I talked to her on the phone a few times. (At one point she was seriously interested in hiring me away to come work with her, but that never panned out.) But the last time I talked to her to was a couple of years ago. Occasionally I'd think that I really ought to get in touch with her again...but I didn't.

I suspect you already know where this is going. I just learned from another former co-worker and mutual acquaintance that she died this weekend. She was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer sometime last summer or fall, and she collapsed and died this weekend. I had no idea.

It's possible that even if we had kept in touch she wouldn't have said anything. She didn't say anything about being ill to another co-worker when they met a couple of months ago. But I'll never know. I wish I'd done better at keeping in touch with her. I wish I'd been able to do something, even if it was just to tell her how sorry I was about what was happening, or say goodbye.

Comments

Re: Regrets

[sinanju.livejournal.com]

Thanks for the comment. Yeah, I talk to mom and dad now and then, but I haven't talked to you or Scott or Susan in much longer. I suppose I should, but...the days go by and then it's been months and months. Well, at least now you can read my livejournal!