Regrets

[sinanju]

I've been at my current job since 1994. I was hired by a woman who left the organization for a new position about four years ago. So we worked together for a long time. I liked her. I thought she was very attractive too. She enjoyed my dry and somewhat twisted sense of humor and I liked hers as well, though it wasn't quite as twisted as mine. We worked together very well. When I was getting married, she organized my bachelor party, such as it was.

When she left the organization, I was disappointed--I was going to miss her--but not surprised. I'd seen her struggling with her growing frustration with how things got done around here. We agreed to keep in touch.

I saw her maybe twice since she left the office and had lunch with her once. I talked to her on the phone a few times. (At one point she was seriously interested in hiring me away to come work with her, but that never panned out.) But the last time I talked to her to was a couple of years ago. Occasionally I'd think that I really ought to get in touch with her again...but I didn't.

I suspect you already know where this is going. I just learned from another former co-worker and mutual acquaintance that she died this weekend. She was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer sometime last summer or fall, and she collapsed and died this weekend. I had no idea.

It's possible that even if we had kept in touch she wouldn't have said anything. She didn't say anything about being ill to another co-worker when they met a couple of months ago. But I'll never know. I wish I'd done better at keeping in touch with her. I wish I'd been able to do something, even if it was just to tell her how sorry I was about what was happening, or say goodbye.

Comments

[snippy]

So sorry, dear.

[starborn-scribe.livejournal.com]

*hugs*

[mzlizzy.livejournal.com]

Please don't beat yourself up for not staying in contact with her. I know you feel bad that she passed away, think about how nice it was to have had her in your life for the time you knew her.

No one knows the future, that's why it's important to say what you feel today.

Today and every day I think you are a good person. {{hugs}}

Regrets

[(Anonymous)]

Sorry dude. It is tough when friends (and family) die. Fortunately, i have had but a few of those instances in my life so far. "I wish I'd done better at keeping in touch with her." Makes me think of us and how apart we are. Your blog has become a way for me to get to know you a little bit over the last month or so since i started reading it after Mom mentioned it to me. It is interesting and i enjoy getting to know you again somewhat.
Tell Snippy we said 'hello'.
Alan

Re: Regrets

[sinanju.livejournal.com]

Thanks for the comment. Yeah, I talk to mom and dad now and then, but I haven't talked to you or Scott or Susan in much longer. I suppose I should, but...the days go by and then it's been months and months. Well, at least now you can read my livejournal!