Tweets: A Story

[sinanju]

• 08:02 Standing in line for donuts.
• 08:07 Bought two donuts. Sales clerk very cute.
  
• 08:14 Donuts were delicious! Wish I'd bought more.
• 08:32 Now at work. *sigh*
• 10:34 Break time! Reading She-Hulk trade paperback. Mountain Dew & Cheetos. Yum!
  
• 10:48 Back at work. Oops. Don't tell anyone.
• 11:04 Have to have a boring meeting. Boring manager Rob.*
• 11:11 Rob says my code isn't functional or elegant. What do I think?*
• 11:13 I think maybe Rob wants to write goddamn log-in page himself.*
• 11:14 I don't say it out loud. I'm proud. Not stupid.*
• 11:47 Damn. Maybe Rob's right. This is crap.
• 12:31 Anybody up for dim sum?
• 12:44 Holy shit! Sirens everywhere.
• 12:44 Gunshots! Running now.
• 12:46 Police yelling at guy thru a loudspeaker. Very Dog Day Afternoon.
• 12:51 More shooting.
• 12:52 OMG! I'm shot! I'm fucking shot!
• 12:52 Bad guy did grisly dance of death. Talk about hail of bullets.
• 12:55 Shit, I'm bleeding bad.
• 12:57 No. Really. Blood all over keypad.
• 13:01 Whoa. Dizzy now. Big crowd
• 13:02 So cold
• 23:23 Nauseous from anesthesia.  Drugs good. No pain. Cute nurse.
  

*With apologies to Jonathan Coulton, Code Monkey.

Comments

[serenejournal.livejournal.com]

Only twitter entry I've ever read that was worth a shit. :-)

[cerulean-me.livejournal.com]

Oh man... that's GREAT.

Can I add you on Twitter? I wanna see what your tomorrow is like! ;-)

[sinanju.livejournal.com]

Glad you liked it. It was amusing. I may have to do another.

[cerulean-me.livejournal.com]

:D I'll be watching for one!

[starborn-scribe.livejournal.com]

Oh! You're on Twitter? I now have incentive to give it another try.

What's your username? Twitter's search is "temporarily unavailable." Hrmuph.

[ilcylic.livejournal.com]

Seconded.

[sinanju.livejournal.com]

Sadly, no. Or perhaps not sadly. I'm not on twitter.

This was a mockumentary. This is only a mockumentary. Had this been an actual Twitter entry compilation it would have been filled with real minutia. This concludes this test of the Twitter Mockery System.

[starborn-scribe.livejournal.com]

Oh.

*is sheepish*