Missing: One Brain

[sinanju]

Or that's what it feels like.  I'm in  weird space.  I've got ideas for stories percolating in my brain--several of them*--but when I sit in front of my computer, my brain rebels.  The idea of opening up the word processor and typing leaves me utterly cold (though I can ramble on livejournal, of course--that doesn't take any creative energy).  Ditto for trying to set up a role-playing game for snippy and some friends, or work on various other projects I'd like to do.

I spend all evening netsurfing or watching television, feeling vaguely dissatisfied with only doing something passive but unable to muster any energy to do more.  It's frustrating.  And no doubt temporary, but no less frustrating for being temporary.

I suspect I'm just tired.  Taking care of my lovely and talented wife can sometimes be taxing.  I'm glad to do it (I like being needed), but occasionally it doesn't leave much mental energy for other things.  What with going back to school, dealing with her reaction to Mother's Day, and other issues rooted in her childhood or family relationships, she's needed more care than usual lately.

Still (and I know you read this, sweetie), she's far healthier and happier even than she was when we got married.  The burden is actually lighter now than it was then, and easier to handle.  But more noticeable than it was then, because a) I'm more self-aware than I used to be, and b) the contrast is more striking; it's unusual that she needs intensive care.

So I find myself sitting here with the Tonight Show on (but muted), listening to Pink Martini's atonal and discordant version of Que Sera Sera on streaming audio.  It's my latest musical fixation.  If I didn't listen thru headphones or when my sweetie is in bed, I'd drive her mad when I listened to the same song over and over and over and....

Things in the queue:
* A Dead Like Me/Highlander story
* A Veronica Mars/Smallville story (Veronica and Chloe exchanging emails--these two have to interact, and they're both online a lot, so....)
* Thrashing out an RPG campaign.  Snippy would like to play, I'd like to play.  But what?  So many possible campaign backgrounds, so many possible games, and no mental energy to follow up on any of them.
* A fiction piece of two for the Hell's Angel Champions email game I'm playing

Comments

[aiglet.livejournal.com]

I know this is somewhat of a radical suggestion, but have you tried digging out a clipboard and some paper and writing longhand?

I find that sometimes being able to have the physical distractions of actually *writing* will make whatever's clogging my brain break up and go away. (Of course, a lot of what I turn out that way is really bad with a couple of good ideas, but it does get things moving again.)