Some days the bear gets you
May. 12th, 2009 11:12 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
sinanjuI didn't reach my writing goal of 1,250 words today. I did just barely over 800 words, and that was after a second afternoon push. It was like pulling teeth today. This morning I felt like the story I'm working on was crap. C.R.A.P. Completely unworkable.
So I switched to working on updating my resume--something that needs doing anyhow. Then my wife called and asked me to come downtown and have lunch with her. Which I did. And that helped. Actually, so did the drive, during which I reminded myself that self-doubt is just that. I can do this.
I can write. I've been doing it for years. Now I'm just doing it with more discipline. And I can find a job. I've supported myself my whole adult life. Even at my lowest point, doing swing shift assembly line work as a temp, I damn well supported myself. It's been a long time since I had to look for work--but I can do it.
By mid-afternoon I was feeling more optimistic again. I did more work on my resume, and then I decided that I was by god! going to do at least 500 words today. So I pulled up the current story file and read it and decided that, yes, the story did need some tweaking but it was salvageable. So I started writing again. And got 800 words done. Not my best day, but I persevered.
Dean Wesley Smith's advice (trust the process) has been very useful. My opinions about the last couple of stories I've written (or parts thereof) have swung wildly from "this is really pretty good!" to "this is crap!" And just as he said, the most important thing was to ignore my feelings about whether it was good or not and just FINISH THE DAMN THING. Once it was done, I was pretty happy with the result, previous misgivings notwithstanding.
Words Written Today: 805
Words Written YTD: 8,816
Streak (500+ words/day): 2 Days
Stories in Circulation: 3 (mailed another one out today)
Stories Rejected: 0 (no responses of any kind as yet)
Stories Accepted: 0 (no responses of any kind as yet)
So I switched to working on updating my resume--something that needs doing anyhow. Then my wife called and asked me to come downtown and have lunch with her. Which I did. And that helped. Actually, so did the drive, during which I reminded myself that self-doubt is just that. I can do this.
I can write. I've been doing it for years. Now I'm just doing it with more discipline. And I can find a job. I've supported myself my whole adult life. Even at my lowest point, doing swing shift assembly line work as a temp, I damn well supported myself. It's been a long time since I had to look for work--but I can do it.
By mid-afternoon I was feeling more optimistic again. I did more work on my resume, and then I decided that I was by god! going to do at least 500 words today. So I pulled up the current story file and read it and decided that, yes, the story did need some tweaking but it was salvageable. So I started writing again. And got 800 words done. Not my best day, but I persevered.
Dean Wesley Smith's advice (trust the process) has been very useful. My opinions about the last couple of stories I've written (or parts thereof) have swung wildly from "this is really pretty good!" to "this is crap!" And just as he said, the most important thing was to ignore my feelings about whether it was good or not and just FINISH THE DAMN THING. Once it was done, I was pretty happy with the result, previous misgivings notwithstanding.
Words Written Today: 805
Words Written YTD: 8,816
Streak (500+ words/day): 2 Days
Stories in Circulation: 3 (mailed another one out today)
Stories Rejected: 0 (no responses of any kind as yet)
Stories Accepted: 0 (no responses of any kind as yet)
