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Command Performance
Apr. 21st, 2010 11:39 pmOr, an update for my lovely and talented wife. No writing Monday. In the immortal words of Holland Manners (and later, Angel), "I just couldn't bring myself to care." And thus endeth the geekery for today.
Only an hour or two after my last post, in which I mentioned an absence of rejection letters...I got a rejection letter. On the other hand, it was a nice rejection. The editor said that the story was well written (yay!) but that it felt like the opening to a much longer story, or a novel. Which I suppose it could become, though that was not my intent. And I sent it out again as is,
Tuesday I produced just over 4,000 words on the novel. Today I hit the wall at a little under 4,000, though I then went on to write a few hundred words on a story opening, for a total of 4,425 words today. This puts me at the halfway mark on my 90,000 word novel, which is a nice milestone.
And right on schedule, according to Kris and Dean, I'm struggling with the fear that it's no good, that it's not working, that maybe it should be set aside in favor of starting something else. Something different. I know not to let these fears stop me. They say that every writer they know has to work through this every time, and I believe it. I'm continuing to plug away at it, but damn--it's hard sometimes.
They also say that when you're done with the book, you won't be able to tell by reading it which parts you felt good about and which parts you were sure were crap. And it's true--I know this from personal experience with the first novel. It was (when I finally dug it out of durance vile and reread it a couple of months after burying it, swearing never to unearth it again) better than I remembered/feared, and pretty much all of a piece. I know it's the same thing this time.
But dammit, I feel like I'm wasting my time. I feel a little depressed. I've been at this writing thing for a while now (about a year!*) and I'm not selling anything.** My lovely and talented wife encourages and supports me, and I appreciate it greatly. But I know she also worries about money, and so far I'm not making much at this gig. Which we knew would be the case when I started, and might be the case for quite a long time. Years, even. The end result, we hope, will be that I can make a living at this. Ideally, a very good living, enough money that my lovely and talented wife can retire from her job and live in the manner to which she would like to become accustomed. But even just making as much as she does now, so that we're doing better than we were when we were both working would be great.
Ah well. Unlike many human institutions, the universe doesn't run on credit. You puts in the work first, and THEN you gets your payday. Right now I'm gonna go read some short stories. Tomorrow I'll get back to work on the novel.
* Yeah, yeah, I know. A whole year. Wow. I should be Stephen King by now. Or Nora Roberts. Or some other household name with ridiculous amounts of money and fame from their overnight success. Except, of course, I know that it wasn't overnight. It took many years of practice and work. I like to think that I've done some of that work already--I've been writing for a long time, but doing it with this kind of consistent, organized effort is new. And on my good days, I'm sure I can succeed eventually. But at times, like right now, in the middle of a book I'm convinced is no good, I wonder if I'm wasting my time and should just give up. I won't. But the thought is there.
** I've got six stories published, and a seventh goes live this month. That's nothing to sneeze at. But they're all royalty-based epublished shorts, with no upfront money. And I'm not making much from them. So I suspect I have a tendency to discount that achievement. I try not to, but...selling something else to another publisher, especially something for which I get paid up front would be really nice. And it will happen eventually, dammit. But not today.
Stories in Circulation: 11
Rejections: 36
Stories Accepted: SEVEN
Stories to Resubmit: 0
Novel Queries: 1 Novel, 5 queries out
Novel Rejections: 5
Project 1: Space Opera (Title TBD)
Words Written: 45,575
Project 2: Urban Fantasy (Title TBD)
Words Written: 0
Only an hour or two after my last post, in which I mentioned an absence of rejection letters...I got a rejection letter. On the other hand, it was a nice rejection. The editor said that the story was well written (yay!) but that it felt like the opening to a much longer story, or a novel. Which I suppose it could become, though that was not my intent. And I sent it out again as is,
Tuesday I produced just over 4,000 words on the novel. Today I hit the wall at a little under 4,000, though I then went on to write a few hundred words on a story opening, for a total of 4,425 words today. This puts me at the halfway mark on my 90,000 word novel, which is a nice milestone.
And right on schedule, according to Kris and Dean, I'm struggling with the fear that it's no good, that it's not working, that maybe it should be set aside in favor of starting something else. Something different. I know not to let these fears stop me. They say that every writer they know has to work through this every time, and I believe it. I'm continuing to plug away at it, but damn--it's hard sometimes.
They also say that when you're done with the book, you won't be able to tell by reading it which parts you felt good about and which parts you were sure were crap. And it's true--I know this from personal experience with the first novel. It was (when I finally dug it out of durance vile and reread it a couple of months after burying it, swearing never to unearth it again) better than I remembered/feared, and pretty much all of a piece. I know it's the same thing this time.
But dammit, I feel like I'm wasting my time. I feel a little depressed. I've been at this writing thing for a while now (about a year!*) and I'm not selling anything.** My lovely and talented wife encourages and supports me, and I appreciate it greatly. But I know she also worries about money, and so far I'm not making much at this gig. Which we knew would be the case when I started, and might be the case for quite a long time. Years, even. The end result, we hope, will be that I can make a living at this. Ideally, a very good living, enough money that my lovely and talented wife can retire from her job and live in the manner to which she would like to become accustomed. But even just making as much as she does now, so that we're doing better than we were when we were both working would be great.
Ah well. Unlike many human institutions, the universe doesn't run on credit. You puts in the work first, and THEN you gets your payday. Right now I'm gonna go read some short stories. Tomorrow I'll get back to work on the novel.
* Yeah, yeah, I know. A whole year. Wow. I should be Stephen King by now. Or Nora Roberts. Or some other household name with ridiculous amounts of money and fame from their overnight success. Except, of course, I know that it wasn't overnight. It took many years of practice and work. I like to think that I've done some of that work already--I've been writing for a long time, but doing it with this kind of consistent, organized effort is new. And on my good days, I'm sure I can succeed eventually. But at times, like right now, in the middle of a book I'm convinced is no good, I wonder if I'm wasting my time and should just give up. I won't. But the thought is there.
** I've got six stories published, and a seventh goes live this month. That's nothing to sneeze at. But they're all royalty-based epublished shorts, with no upfront money. And I'm not making much from them. So I suspect I have a tendency to discount that achievement. I try not to, but...selling something else to another publisher, especially something for which I get paid up front would be really nice. And it will happen eventually, dammit. But not today.
Stories in Circulation: 11
Rejections: 36
Stories Accepted: SEVEN
Stories to Resubmit: 0
Novel Queries: 1 Novel, 5 queries out
Novel Rejections: 5
Project 1: Space Opera (Title TBD)
Words Written: 45,575
Project 2: Urban Fantasy (Title TBD)
Words Written: 0