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I knew it wasn't gonna happen, but this is how I really, really wanted it to go:
Lionel: "Their home is their only poison."
Lana: "What?"
Lionel: "Their home is their only poison."
They share a look, and a moment of complete understanding and agreement.
Lana (determined): "Where are they?"
CUT to Lana at the hospital. The Wonder Twins are terrorizing everyone in the hospital. Specifically Lois at the moment.
Lana: "I know where Kal-El is. He's hiding at the Luthor mansion."
CUT to Lana and the Bad-Ass Twins bursting into Lex's study.
Lana: "He's in there."
Bad-Ass and Bad-Ass Babe stomp over and step into the open vault. The Kryptonite trap is triggered and they get a heapin' helpin' of Kryptonite radiation. They stumble and fall. They're in pain, and confused. "I don't understand," one or the other of them (it doesn't matter which) mutters.
Lionel Luthor, holding a .44 Magnum revolver, steps into sight. The Bad-Ass Twins stare at him in pain and confusion. "That's okay," Lionel says, sighting down the barrel of the revolver at Bad-Ass One. "Only one of us has to understand."
BLAM! Lionel swivels his aim to the surviving Bad-Ass. BLAM!
Lana isn't shocked--she was in on the plan, after all--but she's still clearly appalled by what they've done. Nonetheless, she seems relieved now that it's over.
BLAM! BLAM! Lana flinches as Lionel puts two more rounds into the head of one Wonder Twin, then two more into the other. BLAM! BLAM! He looks at Lana. "Three in the head, _then_ they're dead." He pauses, gazing at the corpses for a moment, then he looks at Lana.
"Miss Lang, would you be so kind as to bring me the letter opener from the desk?"
Lana is puzzled, but she does as he requests. Then, as Lana watches in numb dismay, Lionel uses the letter open, which is quite sharp, to cut into the torso of each Wonder Twin. Handing the letter opener back to a squeamish Lana, he then reaches out for two medium-size chunks of Kryptonite and works them into the open wounds.
Once the Kryptonite chunks are completely hidden from view, he straightens up, cleans his hands on a handkerchief and looks at Lana with a satisfied expression. "That ought to do it, don't you agree, Lana?"
Lana has difficulty tearing her gaze from the bodies. "Yes," she finally agrees.
By the time Clark shows up, they've closed the vault, locking the bodies, the gun and the Kryptonite out of sight. Lionel makes it clear to Lana that she needn't worry about the bodies--he'll take care of that. He also makes it clear that he appreciates and approves of Lana's cooperation in dealing with this problem so quickly and efficiently. Lana is pleased--and a little alarmed--by his approval, and by her own ruthlessness.
At the end of the episode, when Clark is wondering what happened to the mysterious duo who invaded the hospital and assaulted his father and Lois, it is Lana, for a change, who has the smug little smile and the cryptic remark about how Smallville has probably seen the last of them....
Lionel: "Their home is their only poison."
Lana: "What?"
Lionel: "Their home is their only poison."
They share a look, and a moment of complete understanding and agreement.
Lana (determined): "Where are they?"
CUT to Lana at the hospital. The Wonder Twins are terrorizing everyone in the hospital. Specifically Lois at the moment.
Lana: "I know where Kal-El is. He's hiding at the Luthor mansion."
CUT to Lana and the Bad-Ass Twins bursting into Lex's study.
Lana: "He's in there."
Bad-Ass and Bad-Ass Babe stomp over and step into the open vault. The Kryptonite trap is triggered and they get a heapin' helpin' of Kryptonite radiation. They stumble and fall. They're in pain, and confused. "I don't understand," one or the other of them (it doesn't matter which) mutters.
Lionel Luthor, holding a .44 Magnum revolver, steps into sight. The Bad-Ass Twins stare at him in pain and confusion. "That's okay," Lionel says, sighting down the barrel of the revolver at Bad-Ass One. "Only one of us has to understand."
BLAM! Lionel swivels his aim to the surviving Bad-Ass. BLAM!
Lana isn't shocked--she was in on the plan, after all--but she's still clearly appalled by what they've done. Nonetheless, she seems relieved now that it's over.
BLAM! BLAM! Lana flinches as Lionel puts two more rounds into the head of one Wonder Twin, then two more into the other. BLAM! BLAM! He looks at Lana. "Three in the head, _then_ they're dead." He pauses, gazing at the corpses for a moment, then he looks at Lana.
"Miss Lang, would you be so kind as to bring me the letter opener from the desk?"
Lana is puzzled, but she does as he requests. Then, as Lana watches in numb dismay, Lionel uses the letter open, which is quite sharp, to cut into the torso of each Wonder Twin. Handing the letter opener back to a squeamish Lana, he then reaches out for two medium-size chunks of Kryptonite and works them into the open wounds.
Once the Kryptonite chunks are completely hidden from view, he straightens up, cleans his hands on a handkerchief and looks at Lana with a satisfied expression. "That ought to do it, don't you agree, Lana?"
Lana has difficulty tearing her gaze from the bodies. "Yes," she finally agrees.
By the time Clark shows up, they've closed the vault, locking the bodies, the gun and the Kryptonite out of sight. Lionel makes it clear to Lana that she needn't worry about the bodies--he'll take care of that. He also makes it clear that he appreciates and approves of Lana's cooperation in dealing with this problem so quickly and efficiently. Lana is pleased--and a little alarmed--by his approval, and by her own ruthlessness.
At the end of the episode, when Clark is wondering what happened to the mysterious duo who invaded the hospital and assaulted his father and Lois, it is Lana, for a change, who has the smug little smile and the cryptic remark about how Smallville has probably seen the last of them....
